The Puppy Years

Who loves puppies? I do...for a few minutes. As long as it's not mine. Yep, that's right. I can most likely be classified as a puppy hater. So sue me. It's not that I don't think that puppies are cute and sweet and playful and cuddly. I do. Until a puppy decides to take a dump in my shoe, I'm totally in to them. I kid, I kid. Most of the above is total bullshit. Except for the part about the puppy not being mine. That is 100% without a doubt true. And, I will tell you why (try to contain your excitement, I know it must be hard).

On July 13th, 2007 Matt and I adopted our first dog. He was an 18 month old Doberman, his name was JD (we changed it to Cash because really, who wants a dog named JD? Lame!) and he was wonderful. Of course, being new at the whole having to share responsibility for another life thing, there were moments that it was a difficult adjustment. But not really. Because our first dog was and still is wonderful. We love him. Then......well, then we basically just went bat shit bananas. And that's it. Really though, here's the story....

One year  after we got Cash, we brought home a black lab puppy. It had been decided that Cash needed a companion and would be soooooo much happier in the yard all day long if he wasn't by himself (I still think he secretly might wish death upon us for bringing said black lab puppy home, but, I digress). So, on July 12th, 2008 we brought home Macy. She looked something like this:

Cute, right (and yes, this is not actually Macy but a picture from the internet because I am a terrible puppy mother and I have no puppy pictures of Macy)? Yeah, that's what you think! Cute she was, until 3:00 in the morning when she was getting up to pee for the eleventy billionth time that night and Matt and I couldn't remember who's turn it was to take her out and a mini bickering session would then ensue. 

There was also the "I do it right and you do it wrong" situation. Matt now knows better, and I am always right (naturally). But, back then he just didn't realize the importance of the phrase "happy wife, happy life". Now he does, so we're all good. ANYWAY....on top of the pee fights and Matt not yet realizing how right I always am, there was (and I know this may surprise you) *****drum roll pleeeeeaaaassseee******* THE RESPONSIBILITY!!!! "What? some may ask? responsibility? whatever do you mean?" I was totally one of those people before. Yeah, not so much anymore. I know it's a shocker, but getting a second dog means more responsibility. Just because you have one dog doesn't mean that it's all the same after that. Oh no. Not to mention, it's not just the responsibility of feeding and pottying (did I really just type that?) the puppy but also......VETERINARY ACTION!!! Yes indeed, your new cute little puppy will need shots and check ups and heart worm meds and more than likely a genital alteration eventually. Plus you have to make sure your first dog doesn't kill said puppy. That would suck. Though, there was a time when Macy completely impaled herself on a rototiller blade. That's another post though.

(Do you think I said Responsibility enough times in the previous paragraph?)

ANYWAYS......the point to this whole post is......when you and your dear husband (or dear wife, I'm not trying to hate) decide to get a puppy, even if you already have one dog, think about it really really hard. And preferably when you're sober. And maybe see if you can borrow a friends puppy first just to see how it goes. I will say that almost two years later, Matt and I are not divorced, we love Macy (most days) and we are glad we got her (again, most days). JUST KIDDING. Really though. Think about it. 

And also. Any couple that thinks they're ready for a baby should raise a puppy together first.