Bitch Fest

WARNING: The following post is what the title indicates. But this is my blog and I can bitch if I want to.

This house stuff is HARD. Like, when we began the whole process last February, it was really exciting. We were meeting with the architect, designing our floor plan, talking about window placement and French doors, and that was fun. Then in June when things really got rolling, it was still fun. We were ripping our house apart, digging trenches through our used to be living room, tearing the roof off, but it was a labor of love. The anticipation of what would be got us through. And it continued to.

But we've now been working on the effing thing for 5+ months. And I'm tired. I'm tired of coming home from work and not being able to walk in the front door of a home. I'm tired of schlepping laundry from the neighbors house, to our house, and back. I'm tired of leaving my dogs by themselves every night. I'm tired of not being able to do all the fun, social things that I want because instead I need to hand Hardie Plank boards to my husband and whoever is helping him or sweep the floor that is still cement for the hundredth time. I want to watch all my shows that are coming back on this Fall. I want my DVR back. I want to dust and vacuum and mop my house (NEVER thought I'd say that!). I want to decorate for Halloween and Autumn. I want to have people over for dinner. I want to exercise without feeling guilty for not working on the house. The lists goes on and on...

And then, reality sets in. I have a house, it's just not livable right now. But it will be, and relatively soon. So many people don't own their homes, others don't even have a place to live. I own a home that will be gorgeous when it's finished, and I have been blessed with amazing neighbors (and friends) that invited my husband and I to live with them indefinitely. I have a job to pay for said house. I have food to eat, a car to drive, clothes to wear while I do all of the above. Am I still awful for just wanting to bang my head against the wall and cry? Because that's where I'm at today. I just want to sit in a corner and have a big pity party.

But, at the end of the day, I won't. I'll leave my office this afternoon, and I'll go home and change into ripped jeans and a t-shirt, and I'll walk in the front door and.....well, I'll do what ever my contractor husband tells me to. It will more than likely be something along the lines of sweeping because I have no other skills when it comes to this trade.

One thing I have to say...Matt and I have been fortunate in our support with one another. There have been times when he's been down like this, and I've been able to see the silver lining and bring him back up. The same holds true today with me. Having a husband that lets me worry, but not overly so, that lets me get frustrated, but not pull my hair out, and that let's me cry, but not an ugly cry, is worth it's weight in gold.